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"Never forget love for without love, we cannot live. Without love, life is meaningless and without love, we shall lose each other and what is important to us. We need love……. so……. just wanna say…….. I love you. :)"

See, you’ll never see me writing that piece of crap. Ever.

Friends, you know what love is? Let me tell you. Thanks to the nitwits that comprises of our society (yes, you and me), the true definition of love has been misinterpreted. Love, thanks to half-wits alike, is actually lust. Love right now is the deceitful, manipulative facade of lust.

Love, in my opinion, is a holy, sacred, sanctimonious, <insert more words with similar meaning> sentiment that has been degraded and its true definition deteriorated by none other than humankind. (Great job, us!)

Love, in actuality, is the pure, unsullied love for a man and his creator. Love for His benevolence, His understanding, His creation, His everything.

So when you dimwitted teeny boppers tell me you love your parents or whatever, I can accept that. However, when you tell me you "love" your cute boyfriends with six-packs or sexy girlfriends with tight asses and firm… (I shall not go into details), you can go jump down a cliff and spill your innards on the jagged rocks. And if you do, I’ll promise to send you a Thank You card. Thank you for ending our suffering.

1. "Oh Aziemah… I can’t believe he left me for her. That bitch is not even cute!"

Damn hell you look like a corpse with a stick prod up your ass, and you’re telling me how a stranger who’ve somehow won over your infidel boyfriend is not cute?! Here’s how I see it;

It’s not her fault he dumped you! Believe me, it’s you. I might even buy you a mirror to prove my point, but then you might spiral towards depression and kill yourself. Which… wouldn’t be such a bad thing for the sake of everyone’s sanity.

Seriously, do not channel the anger deprived from rejection towards the unknowing girl. She was not in a relationship prior to going out with your boyfriend. Your boyfriend however, was. She was merely his object of interest that was strong enough to have him forgetting his current object of affection; you.

Evaluate yourself, evaluate his soi-disant "love" for you, evaluate your relationship and evaluate whatever. Just never blame the other girl. She should not be on the receiving end of your fury just because you can’t handle rejection.

2. "Oh I feel like killing myself… I can’t live without him."

Girls, when you tell me you can’t live without so-and-so who left you for a chic with real-looking breast implants, then go ahead and kill yourself. Stay true to your words. You’ll be doing us all a favour.

Consider this; the idiot left you for a chest the size of 10 soccer balls, why cry over him? Worse yet, why annoy me with his rakish traits? Why annoy anyone who is forced to listen to your foolish rants on how ‘he was the guy’ or ‘life is not fair’? Get over the damn idiots, you damn stupid girls. You didn’t love him. You liked him. If he was meant for you, is your soulmate, your destiny and all that crap, why did he chase after a babe with a skirt shorter than yours by 10 inches?!

So people, I’ll tell you something;

1. Life is not fair.

I won’t deny that. You can’t deny it. The affluent businessman drinking his 1986 red wine while watching the news on starvation and pandemics in third-world countries cannot deny it.

2. People are idiots.

I won’t deny AND forcify the veracity of that statement. We’re all idiots! Look how we’re ogling the latest Vera Wang shoes or the killer Dolce and Gabbana evening dress! Look how people are killing themselves over failed-relationships! See? We’re materialistic, over-emotional idiots.

3. Love is lust.

Now, that is what I implore you to consider. So please, stop telling everyone how much you love him/her/it. Stop gushing your affection on a guy in a relationship we, thanks to your incessant, irking ramblings, wished never existed. Hell, continuing your 5 hours talk on how cute this guy’s ears are or how hot he looks when’s he’s all serious and shit is literally placing a knife in our hands and specifically telling us to stick it up his… anyway, don’t do it. Why? Because honestly, it makes you an inconsiderate, unbearable, intolerable nincompoop. But hey, at least you’re a nincompoop "in love", right? Wrong.

This entry was posted on Monday, April 10th, 2006 at 10:36 am and is filed under Uncategorized. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can skip to the end and leave a response. Pinging is currently not allowed.